Welcome to My New Lifestyle Blog

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

What you see vs what you are

How crazy is your mind, how fascinating is it that our mind can control what we see in our selves even if it’s not actually who we are.

For the past Twelve years, I was never able to truly see myself for who I was, I could only see an image that I had created.

When I was Fourteen years of age I weighed in at 125kilos, severely bullied hating my life and struggled a lot to want to go to school. When I started my weight loss journey I was so excited I still remember my first time standing on the scales seeing 80kilos wow what a feeling that was an a incredible achievement that I was very proud of.

It was one decision that changed all of that for me. The date was March 26th I came home from doing a work out my mum had made spaghetti Bolognese for dinner I remember that it tasted amazing. After eating dinner I went to have a shower I had music on to relax I sat down felt the water running on my back and the thought of making myself sick crossed my mind, I remember looking down at my fingers and wondering how easy it would be not actually knowing that I had the balls to do it.

The feeling after was like nothing I had ever felt before, It was the feeling of relief the feeling of being in control and from that moment I had found my new outlet for my emotions a few months after I started getting fixated on looking at myself in the mirror, I remember wanting to see my stomach sunken in I wanted to see more bone showing from that one decisions I started imagining what I wanted to look like and through hurting myself I got there.

Months and months had passed of the same decision, It got so bad that if I was to drink water I would run to the bathroom to stick my fingers down my throat to the point where I had tears in my eyes. I dropped down to 46kilos but still seeing 125kilos in the mirror this is how powerful, your mind is you can literally create an image that does not exist however if you see it enough in your own mind you will start believing it.

I remember standing in front of the mirror with nothing on, Turning to the side holding my stomach in seeing my rib cage sticking out seeing my collar bone standing out I honestly looked like a human skeleton, and this is where it went from seeing a different version of myself to feeling it. Not only did I have bulimia anorexia came into play. I started waking up feeling heavy that my morning routine would be to drink a big glass of water just so I could make myself sick to have that relief feeling my visual image soon started changing I wanted to see more bones showing I wanted my stomach to look flat as a pancake I started passing out at work on a weekly basis in hospital on a vitiman drip because I was depriving myself of so much but in my mind I did not have a problem.

Guys how crazy is that, my own thoughts stopped me from seeing that I was severely sick and in need of help. My own thoughts blocked out the fact that I was truly killing myself at what point do we stop and actually wake up and step out of our minds?

What are you avoiding? What do you think is holding you back? Do you let your thoughts control the outcome or do you standup for yourself?. My question for you is when is enough enough? How late is to late?. When was the last time you truly saw you for you? When was the last time you believed that you were good enough?


Understanding an Eating disorder

Looking from the outside in it can be hard to understand an eating disorder, why would anyone want to make themselves throw up, starve themselves, binge until they feel like they are going to explode or feel tortured by food ?.

Avoiding negative feeling’s

I think this is something we are all guilty of in one way or another, its uncomfortable to talk about your emotions however suppressing them does not make them go away and therefore we need to find another way to let them out. For anyone that has made themselves sick, starved themselves covering up our emotions is a big reason why this has happened

For me, I liked being in control, and when I was feeling lost with a lot of my life this was the one thing in my life I felt like I had full control over and in a very unhealthy way it excited me.

So here is some further information to help you understand where body dis-morphia comes from and more of an in-site.

Disorder eating is the single most important indicator of the onset of an eating disorder. Disordered eating is a disturbed pattern of eating that can include fasting and skipping meals, eliminating food groups, restrictive dieting accompanied by binge eating and excessive exercise. Disordered eating can also include purging behaviours such as laxative abuse and self-induced vomiting.

Disordered eating can result in significant mental, physical and social impairment and is associated with not only eating disorders but also health concerns such as depression, anxiety, nutritional and metabolic problems and weight gain. 

Studies in Australia and New Zealand have found:

  • Approximately half of adolescent girls have tried to lose weight and practice extreme weight loss behaviors such as fasting, self-induced vomiting and smoking
  • As many as 75% of high school girls feel fat or want to lose weight
  • Young people who diet moderately are six times more likely to develop an eating disorder; those who are severe dieters have an 18-fold risk
  • Among girls who dieted, the risk of obesity is greater than for non-dieters

Puberty is a time of great change biologically, physically and psychologically. Teenagers are often vulnerable to societal pressures and can often feel insecure and self-conscious, factors that increase the risk of engaging in extreme dieting behaviour.

The act of starting any diet increases the risk of eating disorders in adolescent girls and boys. Research shows that young people who engage in unhealthy dieting practices are almost three times as likely as their healthy-dieting peers to score high on measures assessing suicide risk.

For myself, when I first decided to go down the path of body dis-morphia I was fourteen years old starting my very own fitness journey.

I grew up being the overweight child the fat one that got bullied left right and centre it was not just emotional bullying it was very much physical too. I still remember that first initial day I stuck my fingers down my throat, I remember exactly where I was and exactly how I felt and how easy it was to do. This one decisions has impacted my life in so many big ways i t is not something I would wish upon my worst enemy, however this journey I chose to go on has made me the person I am today.

Ask yourself why do you start something? what is the core message in your actions? what are you avoiding within your life?

Are you trying to fill a void or avoid your emotions? I ask you to really dive deep into your unconscious mind and understand that the answers you are searching for lie within yourself you are the key that unlocks the door.

Stay tuned for my next one, diving deep into my emotions and feelings.

Image result for eating disorders

Image result for eating disorders

A disease or a challenge ?

Let me ask you a question Bulimia and anorexia are classified as a disease but what if it was not a disease and just a small mental challenge?

Over the past few years, I have been working a lot on mental clarity and clearing the negativity that has held me back for so long. Someone very special to me helped me understand to the depth that I did not have a disease at all but just a small mental challenge, after all, it all comes back to us no one forced you to stop eating or to make yourself sick.

Have you ever really thought about where this decision came from?.

When I started my healing process, I jumped straight onto the fitness bandwagon thinking that working out was the answer boy was I mistaken I spent months training twice a day morning and evening putting my body into overdrive while still not fueling my body enough to keep up with the amount of exercise. And it was clear that I was still in denial and that I had put a mask on to cover up my fears.

I wish that when I started my healing process I had a guide to help me and point me in the right direction of what I needed to focus on first which is now clear to me that is my mindset. I think each and every one of us underestimated our unconscious mind and what it is really trying to tell us. Do you listen to your body’s signs? does your body trying to tell you to stop or slow down? does your body let you know when you are not feeding it properly ? all the signs are there it just comes back to that question of how connect to your body are you? how connected to your mind are you? when was the last time you really got in touch with yourself? self-love and connection is a very big part of the healing process.

I am now 26 years of age and am only really now learning how to truly heal myself. for anyone that is going through some type of mental challenge would be to really step back and ask yourself the question of why? why have you chosen this path? do you believe that you are not good enough? does this challenge come from something that has impacted you earlier on in life?.

For me, one of the greatest gifts I have had is to have someone believe in me and truly want to help me. Almost a year ago now I met this incredible soul who let me go on a journey with him he introduced me to this incredible gift called NLP (Nero linguistic programming ) for anyone that has not heard of this before I definitely recommend looking up Allan-Christian Limitless and learning for yourself what magic it can do.

Starting NLP I really go to understand myself and uncover all of the emotions that led to the one decision. Its unreal they amount of emotions we suppress over the years or if you like put a mask over I do not know about you but I got very good at pushing my emotions and myself to the side because I had the thought ” I was not good enough” which now is not even a thought that crosses my mind. I now scream from the rooftops I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM ENOUGH I AM ME AND THAT IS OK, I ask you to write down three things you want to believe about yourself and set a phone reminder to go somewhere that is comfortable for you and really speak that message shout it feel it run through your body. At the end of the day, it is you vs you no one else. When you truly start to believe in yourself you will see that anything is possible and the only person that has been holding you back is you.

Everyone talks about connecting with their Soul or their higher self, but what does this really feel like? How do you know when you are connecting with the true essence of You?
Discovering your soul is essentially discovering your true inner being and through this discovery, you are able to align with your purpose, your passions and what makes you feel whole.

Soul – Is the Spiritual Energetic Expression of The Light. (This is unique & Individual …. just like we each have our own unique finger print)

When one decision changed my life.

Let me ask you, have you ever made one decision you would go back and change? Or would you let it be because it has helped you get to where you are now ?.

In 2014 i started a jorney from one decision that has broken me and also made me as strong as i am today. Like any teenage girl we go through the motions of self love and self confidence, we have social media in our ear and helping to change the way we think about ourself. We spend more time focusing on imperfections we think we have and going out of our way to change parts of our body’s we were blessed with what if i told you this was all in your mind and with simple techniques they could be changed?.

When i was 14 years of age i weighed a 125 kilos, bullied at school spending lunch times by myself and going home crying at the end of the day. Being surround by a family that could not give me strutcure or support in the ways i needed. I started a fitness journey to find myself and know how it felt to genuinely smile, i started loosing weight and feeling different about myself and that i still did not fit. I remember the night as if it was yesterday i came home from the gym had dinner it was just a normal night, i was standing in the shower and my thoughts took over my body the question of “i wonder how easy it would be to make myself sick” kept crossing my mind until the moment i decided to put my fingers down my throat.

I remember feeling lighter and just thinking wow that was easy i had a sense of relief and like i wanted to do it again. The decision of putting my fingers down my throat went from a choice to a daily routine, I would wake up have breakfast and go straight to the bathroom day after day morning after morning night after night. Before i knew it the weight was dropping off and i was finally starting to get attention, compliments, recognition and being noticed which was something i had not felt more and before i knew it i wanted more and more i do not think we realize how much not having any self awareness harms us. The unconscious mind is a very incredible part of us but connecting with ourselves and learning to be happy with who we are is my biggest challenge, this is my story and journey of , self hate, self harm,negative thinking, not wanting to exist to Thriving, being happy, accepting me for me. This is for anyone who may be struggling with themselvs i will only ask one thing and that is to come on this journey with an open heart and an open mind 🌼 the jouney to see you for who you really are 🙌

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

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